Changes

The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.

~Isaiah 32:17

Am I one who loves change? I must say I do enjoy the unexpected, and often am easily bored with a stagnant daily routine. But I am also known for holding onto traditions and am the first one to sob at those emotional, life-marker moments; you know, graduations, first day of school, first day of college - the biggies! Wow. In this case, God has tested my emotional stability this month of August as very significant life-marker moments, changes, have occurred in my life! I left a job I loved at a place that was a part of my life for almost a decade, Michael moved from dwelling in the college dorms to being a tenant in his first college house experience, and my precious 'baby girl' moved from Ohio to North Carolina.

Now beyond the 'joy' of getting to box up two children's stuff accumulated over several years combined, these moves should have rocked my world and sent me into a mode of despair and loneliness. But they didn't. No one was more surprised by this than me! How is it I spent Ashley's first day of school in fits of tears (literally, I think Michael was concerned for my sanity), yet I was able to leave her almost 600 miles and 4 states away?! As the words from Isaiah state, there is a sense of peace and of quietness and confidence as a result of our attempts to live a righteous life. If we are making every effort to live for Christ and play out our faith in truly trusting God in all circumstances, He will gives us a sense of peace. He is the source of confidence that all is well. They will be ok. He has them in His care.

I cannot remember the source, but I read somewhere that to truly use the word of God in times of trial or fear it is scripture that we should turn to. Literally. We should recite the passages that reassure us, comfort us, give us confidence and allow us to grow in our faith. This passage from Isaiah 32:17 is on my memorization 'to do' list of scripture. Then when I feel a pang of 'mom worry' I can recall God's promise; He wants me at peace, quiet, and assured that He has it under control. Praise Him!

I can honestly say that, sure I miss seeing my 'baby girl's face more regularly, but at the same time I am genuinely thrilled for her and her position in life at this very moment. God has richly blessed us and blessed her with opportunities to grow and experience new people, new challenges, new sights, and new fun! I hear it in her voice that she is excited for what is to come. That reassurance - which God is providing me through her tone of voice and attitude - is a result of having faith and trusting Him.

Change is constant; we can be assured of that. But what lies ahead, we can be even more assured, is the life He has planned for us. I cannot wait for it to unfold!

Expectantly!

At daybreak, Lord, you hear my voice; at daybreak I plead my case to you and watch expectantly!

~ Psalm 5:3

Have you ever been expecting great and wonderful things from an acquaintance, a family member, or an event, only to be sorely disappointed? Often special occasions serve as ripe opportunities for either fulfillment and joy, or deflation and sadness. You build yourself up, in expectation, for what the lovely, gift-wrapped box may hold, or for what act of love and kindness may befall you as a way of having appreciation shown for your service or work. The rise of anticipation is palatable as your scurry to unwrap the box or discern the act, and......oh. Gee. Thanks so much. (mumbled in monotone polite voice instilled in you by your parents!) Do we view God's promise from Psalm 5:3 in the same manner? Meaning do we truly watch expectantly or with a subconscious notion that if we do watch we will be disappointed....again?!

I will be honest and admit that I frequently viewed this promise from my Lord in this manner, which lacks obvious faith and trust in His word and who He says He is! Especially over the past 2 years He has proven this passage of scripture to me with blessings beyond denial. I must give total and all Glory to God for that which He has brought to fruition in my life. Things as daily as all green traffic lights on days I was running late due to lingering a bit longer in His word during morning time with Him; to finding that extra $1.50 in change to enable me to grab that quick sandwich I thought I would have to forego until late evening; to unexpected joy of one of my children calling with exciting news or that they were coming for a visit! He has also filled my life with doors of opportunity which, if chosen to walk through would bring uncertainty, but paths and affiliations I once only dreamed possible.

My God is so huge and involved in every single aspect of my life and wants good and wonderful things for me. Why? Because He not only loves me, He is in love with me! It is in the role of parent that I can best grasp at some understanding of the magnitude of His love for me. The swelling of my heart and lump in my throat that occurs every time I am able to bring joy or happiness to one of my children is the greatest feeling I think I can experience as a parent. No one could wipe the smile from my face when swept up in these wondrous moments! Oh, how much greater the joy, the scope, and the depth of my God when He blesses me on a daily basis with these moments! He tells me to EXPECT them. He is waiting with a beautifully wrapped package that will bring undeniable joy and delight because I know it is from Him. To God be the glory!

On the days God has brought huge blessing into my life, I almost burst with the acknowledgment of how fiercely He loves me. It is truly overwhelming, and I have made an effort to relish the moment of realization that in my watching expectantly He has delivered on His promise. Again. I just can't WAIT to see what He has planned for tomorrow!